I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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