Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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