Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
