watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize