I will die if light touches me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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