I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
