direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
