Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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