im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize