So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
