...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
