The best revenge is premature balding
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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