FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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