I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
