The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
