sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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