There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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