I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
