Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
