I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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