best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
