We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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