I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
