Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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