Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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