I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize