Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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