My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
