Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
