Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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