Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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