ADVERTISEMENT

• (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

  Fav 21 3107 1318

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.

  Fav 24 3428 832

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours

  Fav 27 6566 1947

  share tweet
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

  Fav 69 28520 2186

  share tweet
  

• (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

  Fav 14 6640 1118

  share tweet
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

  Fav 14 4700 1276

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.

  Fav 5 2573 1820

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

  Fav 11 2668 998

  share tweet
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.

  Fav 3 846 1353

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

  Fav 3 1320 687

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome

  Fav 5 1004 566

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha

  Fav 1 1079 691

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on

  Fav 2 873 599

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex

  Fav 0 37 69

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min

  Fav 0 7 28

  share tweet
  

Randomize