How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize