I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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