Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
