I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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