So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
