They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
