Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
