walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
