did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
