It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
