she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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