no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
