Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
