You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
