I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
