Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
