tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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