Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
