k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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