Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
