I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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