biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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