It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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