There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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