Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
