Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
