I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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