It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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